I was born with tendinitis hearing loss on my right side. Through my adulthood, my hearing is starting to slip further and further away. I come from a long line of women with this condition (My Aunt, Grandmother, Great Grandmother AND Mom are almost all fully deaf). To let you in on me – I’m terrified of being alone. Being deaf and alone is TERRIFYING. My parents always made sure that I had a companion (a dog). to keep me company while I was alone or when I couldn’t sleep at night. My first was Holly, a Dalmatian.
I struggled at an early age trying to make friends, trying to understand why I was different from everyone else and how to handle all of the questions. When I came home from school she was there to comfort me and truly gave me confidence to be myself. Holly passed away when I was 13 and I’ve been searching for something similar ever since.
I was 19 and my then boyfriend (now husband) and I were moving into our first apartment. To be honest here, I was hesitant. I knew there would be a lot of times I would have to be alone. I’ve got a lot of incredible friends and a wonderful partner, but they cannot be with me forever.
A few months before we moved I was volunteering at a local animal shelter and the rest is history.
She was furless (not knowingly she was suffering from severe mange), skinny and in desperate need of love. She kept barking at me as I walked away, calling me to come back to her. She was six months old and in need of a home.
I scooped her up, I paid $50 cash for her and shoved her into my VW beetle. The pup and I drove with the windows down that evening back to my parents home, she struggled to keep her frail body upright, hanging her head out of the window. Breathing free air for the very first time. For the first time she would never have to worry about where her next meal would come from, wether or not she would freeze during the night and she would never have to be without me caring for her.
I called my then boyfriend (who side note is ALLERGIC to dogs) and asked him what he felt about getting a dog. He said it would be something that we would need to discuss later on in the future, so I sent him a picture of her sitting in my passenger seat 😉
We name her Tinsel after Holly (sensing our Christmas theme here). Two years ago, Tinsel was fully certified as my service animal and my life completely changed.
Tinsel and I have been attached at the hip for six years. We have a day off together each week and instead of sitting in my own pity, afraid of everything; she plops her leash in my lap and off we go. Local parks, hiking, traveling to new states and shopping. With her next to me, I never question anything. She gives me the confidence to start to learn who I am.
That’s where this started. Now I feel confident and I’m trying so many new things! Traveling to new states, creating art, hiking, kayaking. This blog is about my self discovery, with Tinsel at my side and this tangled mess of me trying to figure out just exactly who I am.
I’m trying all sorts of new things! So I hope you stay with me through this process here on the Tangled Tinsel 👩🏻💻♥️🐶