Let Me Explain –

Hello! I know it’s been awhile, but I’m back. I’d like to explain things, maybe to make myself feel slightly better about my current situation or maybe just to sadly justify why I’ve MIA for the past few weeks.

A little over six months ago I started getting sick. Severe heart burn that would wake me up in the middle of the night, with nonstop vomiting (among other things) and fever. The pain kept getting worse, until one night I couldn’t stand the pain anymore. My husband drove me to the emergency room.

First thoughts were that I was loosing my gallbladder. No big deal, that stuff happens all the time. It’s common.

They held off on emergency surgery, wanting to do more tests first. Two ultrasounds, an MRI, blood work and endoscopy later – they finally just agreed that I had gastritis along with severe acid reflux. Super common. Just a simple change in diet, some drugs and POOF all of my symptoms would be gone within three months.

I did like they asked. Grilled chicken and veggies, started up a new yoga routine (cutting out the gym – because it was too much physical strain on my body), sleeping sitting up right, drinking lots of water, standing more often at work and even cutting out coffee.

After the three months, I was really good – I scheduled an appointment with a GI to go over everything and to make sure we were on the right path. He swapped my medication to a higher dosage, thinking that it would speed up the healing process.

(Basically, the medication was to stop my stomach from producing acid. This way my stomach and gallbladder had enough time to heal)

That’s when things got really bad. For the past three months I’ve been waking up with a fever, swelling, projectile vomiting – you name it. I took the meds for three months, then scheduled ANOTHER appointment with my GI. He then prescribed an even HIGHER dosage of my medication, along with medication to assist with IBS. He said I should start an Elimination diet – that possibly something I was eating was causing my acid reflux to trigger (I.E: Dairy, Gluten, Garlic/Spices, Chicken/Eggs).

That was two weeks ago, when things got the worse they have ever been. After taking the new new medication the first day, I couldn’t eat, my stomach started to cramp after ever bite. I went into work like a zombie keeping a garbage can next to my desk just in case. I’ve lost 25 pounds in just a month (which I’m already pretty thin). I stopped exercising completely. I stopped sleeping but about 2-4 hours a night.

LET ME TELL YOU: There’s nothing worse then waking up sweaty and covered in your own puke.

Then something sparked. I only started having these symptoms after taking the medication. I quickly called the doctor’s aid and she said I was having a severe allergic reaction to the medication. I had to take 48 hours to purge the medication from my system (since it was a time-released medication). Just about the worst pain I have ever been through. I couldn’t lay down to rest, I couldn’t eat anything to comfort myself and I was struggling to breathe. I lived off of warm tea and honey. Even when I could fall asleep on the couch, I had no strength to stand, my husband would have to come and help me.

(This all during the week of Christmas too) So I did something I haven’t done in a while, Saturday morning I just sat and prayed. I asked for just one night of rest, one night of comforting solid rest and a good meal. All I wanted was to feel human. I reached out to a friend for comfort and she told me this:

“Even when you don’t have the strength to stand, you can always kneel and pray for an answer.”

Last Saturday, December 23rd I had a good meal, I was hungry and I ate with no regrets. Then I slept. I slept so hard I woke up in the same position as I had fallen asleep in. I woke and took a hot shower; standing in the warm water I could finally breathe. I took Tinsel to the park and we walked; the cool morning air brushing against my face. It was the best day I have had in six months. Now the 26th of December, I’m starting to feel better. Everything has been physically purged from my system, I’m on my original medication and I’m doing OK. I even was able to walk to my office this morning without being winded! πŸ’ͺ🏻

I have another appointment to get yet another X-ray and ultrasound done in a few weeks. Then an appointment with an allergist to try and narrow down what the actual cause of my problems are. I’m still searching for answers; I’m grasping and holding onto that one perfect day of rest. Multiple doctors have told me that most of these issues are due to long term stress, so I’m working on it (slowly).

Writing is helping, but keeping up with all of it has been a struggle for me – so if your reading this, just hold on, I’ll be back on track soon. 😘 But for now, I’ll be tucked in my blankets at home sipping on tea trying to get some rest.

My take away from this: You really never know exactly what a coworker, friend, family member or someone you ran into at Target is going through. Always take in consideration what you don’t know, before jumping to a conclusion. Because let me tell you about the looks I got wandering into my local Target at 9AM getting soup – with it apparent that I haven’t showered or looked into a mirror in about two days. People judged me or hid their children from this “mess of a person,” when in reality I do have a nice home and a good job – I’m just really sick and my husband is at work. I JUST NEEDED SOME SOUP PEOPLE. (I mean MAYBE it was partially my fault too. I should have put on actual pants instead of my Kermit the Frog jammies).

That’s all. That’s my rant. Don’t judge other people, be KIND.


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